I am sat here, waiting for midnight to come as I have instructions to drive across a very cold and icy city to the countryside to pick Steph up from a party!
I do not mind, however I just wish it was a warm summer's evening. My driving has taken a knock since the accident before Christmas. I was just managing with the new car when I recieved a letter from the police saying they would proscecute me for reckless driving and give me a fine of £2.500 if I did not take a driving course with them. So of course I have signed up for the driving course. I am a bit miffed when the police attending the accident acknowledged that I had mis read the traffic lights and would "leave it up to the insurance companies to sort out". Ever since THAT letter I have been second guessing myself and scaring myself in the process.
Today, after a lot of wrangling and a HUGE argument that risked virtually any relationship that was left between us, I had with my sister, my Mum has gone into a nursing home. She has been in hopsital since the first week of January. The home is lovely, but of course - and naturally it will take a while for her to settle in.
Now it is time to sort Dad out. He has to sell his house. His reaction to all of this is to take pleasure in leaving it all up to us to do.
I mean everything.
I went in to the house last week and needing a wee, I went upstairs and had to clean the toilet it was disgraceful. The more that is done for him the more he expects us to do. Hence the argument, as I will not panda to that. Not when I have my own house to do. We have doen so muh in the past. The argument was very very emotional and ended up with me driving (God knows how) up to my Dad's house and sreaming at him, demanding to know what he has been saying. My sister had been thinking that I never asked what was going on, and never visited. When in fact I had been visiting, not as much as guiltilty I think I should, and I always ask about what was happening with regard to Mum and Dad etc. My Dad just asnswers that it is in my sister's hands. THEN when she asks if I have asked, he says no! OMG did I scream and cry and howl at him!!
He just got drunk
Even in his new place he will have to clean a toilet.
My friends at work the next day acknowledged how rough I looked and how I was making myself ill. My boss did a double take one day last week 'cos I looked so rough. So I booked myself in to have my hair done. I have the roots dyed back to my natural dark brown and then red highlights put in.
The red highlights did not take.
I had to go back today to have them redone -stronger. I feel more human.
But incredibly tired.
So today was my family.
Tomorrow is my Husband's family - My FIL is dealing with the Chemo and all the hospital visits with a dignity that can only be recognised with a deep, sincere, loving respect. I call my FIL my "Dig Daddy" - He calls himself my "Big Daddy".
Wierd that at 41 I need a Dad - but after so many years of wrestling with my own parents problems and "stupidty" I can only admire this man more. I love him to bits.
My MIL - Who I love to bits, is cleaning for britain. She is wound so tightly at the moment. She is helping Steph with a project for school tomorrow - a bit of diversional tactics on my part. How Steph will cope I do not know as I have just piucked her up from that party - she is now drunk but on a high - after party high. She has a friend with her too and they are giggling like any 16 year olds. Rather cute. God knows when they will / if they will get any sleep. Tomorrow is she is expected to go and cut this Corset out at my MIL's house. OOOOH yes she does textiles for her exams. And as a final piece she is making a Corset!!!! a Black hook and eye at the front and proper bone/stays in and lacing at the back!!! IN my day we made an "A- line" skirt!!! Skirts I can make. Trousers I am a dab hand at ... any thing tricky gets sent to my MIL.
Hence the diversional tactic.
I, however, in the midst of all this chaos am not relaxing and so am still selling books, Cds and video/PS2/PC games. If it has an ISBN then it may get sold. !!! IF it does not get sold it is getting - gotten rid of!!!
My car is full of books I can not sell. and other stuff - all waiting for trips to the book dump and tip.
My head is whirling and spinning - I can not sleep I have to be doing things. I have huge plans for the week school holidays. The kids are taking cover already BUT I have not touched thier bedrooms for months....and they are not listening to my warnings... to the roll of bin bags are coming out.
I am really letting my head unravel writing all of this.
Going back to my Dad's house, both the kids have been grounded for doing something that has really annoyed me. But I have not grounded them this weekend .... NO NOT ME
I have grounded them in advance for one day in the up coming school holiday, when we will go up and clean Dad's house ready for it going on the market. Oooo they are so happy about that!!!
Work is chaos but I LOVE IT - my class are wonderful
UPDATE - I did the taxing.... after a shakey drive earlier in the evening this return visit was not too bad ... but I did run over a rabbit!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Your post made me dizzy with all that!
Things will get sorted, but you need to relax a bit girl!
Take care, I'm thinkin about you!
Oh my gosh you both posted! So hope you are looking after yourself Fizzy!
*gets up off floor*
I trust you both got home ok, what with driving in such nasty weather. I've always told the boys I'll pick 'em up wherever, whatever ('cept one time I made Ryan walk home lol)...but when the weather's so crap I wish I could renege on the deal lol (sorry 'bout the rabbit, what was it doing there anyway!)
Hope your Mum likes her new 'home', as you say it can take a little while to settle in, but once they do, some totally enjoy it. Hope that's the case for your Mum :)
re your Dad and visiting him etc. You truly cannot be everywhere at once. You're doing what you can, don't feel guilty! I think you've been doing a great job to juggle everything.
Have to say, from everything I've read over the years...I love your in-laws.
*hugs*
I agree with Deni, I feel quite light-headed and floored after reading that and I'm wondering what on earth I do with my days.
Don't mind the rabbit, focus on the hubby and kids, support the inlaws who sounds rather cool, enjoy the redder hair, look after yourself, and deal with the father when neccesary but don't use his toilet again - hold it in.
Wow, no wonder you are tired! Please try to take some time for yourself and also get some rest. More easily said than done, though, I know. But you always have such a great, positive attitude and a sense of humor about it all!
My goodness, you certainly do have a lot to deal with just recently! As they say, it never rains but it pours. But just stay relaxed, take life one day at a time. Bet your red highlights look spiffy!
Post a Comment